Hollywood Hates Kevins

Yeah, it's been a long time.  I'm sure both of my readers have missed these posts.

Anyway, the online comic strip PvP started a new thread where a kid named Kevin, natch, is a little terror.

So far he's done everything possible to make everyone else's lives worse.  Now he wants to kill a kitten.

I had to laugh at this description of Kevin from Wikipedia:

Kevin, an ambidextrous circus freak from Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events

Do I even need add anything?  No, I don't.

Germans may love David Hasslehoff, but they hates Kevins.

In Volkswagon's new Jetta commercial, "Kevin" is the loser who gets offended when his girlfriend's dad suggests they go hiking in the woods when they come for a visit.  In the woods.  There is some lame message about stereotyping, but they had to pick the name Kevin.

The pivotal bad guy in the season finale of Law & Order ("Invaders") was a guy named Kevin who was a dirty federal agent who hired a bunch of thugs to kill a bunch of people and the assistant district attorney.  Oh, and then he gets killed by those same guys.

Dairy Queen has a commercial for some soft serve/coffee/mocha something. Two newscasters are getting ready to broadcast and the female anchor sets her Dairy Queen drink down. The male newscaster ("Kevin") picks it up and won't give it back. They can't keep wrestling over it because they are on the air, so they both sit properly upright.

Woman: "This just in....Kevin has hairplugs!"

She then reaches over and rips a huge chunk of his hair out.

Oh, how hilarious.

This Penny Arcade web comic is a classic example.  It's why this site was created.  Kevin is a loser, strange, weird and different.  THe authors are from Seattle, so not quite Hollywood, but more people read their comic than see some movies.  Why, Tycho, why?

The Sci-Fi Channel's new show, Eureka, features a kid named Kevin.  Kevin is autistic so natually he never speaks, but is also a genius.  While technically the show doesn't hate him, he is extrememly unusual.  This just reenforces the theme of this blog that "normal" characters are rarely named Kevin.  Perhaps that's good, because being normal is boring, but it still shows the bias these seem to writers have.

In the episode "Requiem" where an entire family goes missing, one of the prime suspects is, or course, a guy named Kevin.  He's a 20 year old loser who lives with his parents and is dating the 16 year old missing daughter.  He gets in a fight with the dad and threatens him with a gun.  Oh, and afterwards, he helps the mafia locate the family so they can kill them.  Nice.

I never watch this show, but my wife does.  Tonight I noticed a big time loser character named Kevin Volchok.  This guy is a super lowlife who steals money, cheats on his girlfriend and is an all around scumbag.  They might as well just have named him Kevin Federline.  He even causes the death of one of the major characters while driving drunk.  Yeah!

Poor Kevin Covais, booted from American Idol even though there was an Internet conspiracy to keep him on the show.  However, America got it right, he needed to go.  He was a nice guy, but he was the worst singer.